And the Paranoia Sinks In

When I became pregnant with my first son, I started to become more aware of tragic events that were happening to children.

I remember locally, two siblings, a brother and sister, both under the age 5 died in a car accident. When I heard this I read everything about it to figure out what went wrong. Kind of car the mother drove, time of day, whether they wearing seatbelt and if anything could have been done to prevent it. The mom drove a van(which is marketed towards parents for their safety), it was daytime, no drunk drivers involved and the children were in their proper car seats. Just a freak accident.

I also remember the Swine Flu Outbreak was rising and the first victim was a child in Texas. I later found out that the child came from Mexico but that did not lessen the blow to my heart.

I know one shouldn’t dwell on things like this but I do. I start to think how this could easily happen to me and my children.

Like most people I read about the tragic shooting that just happened in the Colorado movie theatre. Before I had kids I would have been shocked by the news but I would have moved on. Now, I am in tears as I write this as my 6 week old son is laying on my chest.

My husband and I discussed taking or three year old to see The Dark Knight. It will be the first time he is going to the movies and I’m so excited for another milestone in his life. I think about the six year old that died and wonder if this was going to be a milestone in his short lived life as well.

Then I read that an infant was brought into the hospital with gun wounds. An INFANT?!?! I don’t even have words.

When tragedies happen like this people always say “Live your life to the fullest! Hug loved ones! Make time for the people you care about.”

Everyday and all day I am kissing my two sons and I call them my “Sweet Boys.” People mock me for it but I don’t care.

I grew up in a loving family but we weren’t the affectionate type. Every time my husband gets of the phones with one of his parents or step parents they always say “I Love You.”

It’s not something we do in my family and that’s fine but I am making the dirt to do it with my children. I want them to be able to look back and remember how much I showered them with love.

Even with all the love I give my sons it still wouldn’t be enough if they were taking away from me.

I could go on and on about this but I have Sweet Boys to tend to.

Shanika

Living in Columbia, South Carolina and using this blog as my space to share a little insight into my life in what I’m making on the sewing machine, knitting needles, crochet hooks, in the kitchen, and elsewhere.

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1 Comment

  1. August 2, 2012 / 4:04 pm

    Sometimes I think it's a good thing I am not a parent. Because I wold be the same way. Always worried. Always thinking What if this happened…what if that happened. I see the news and I cringe. I feel you friend!

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