I’ll try to put it as nicely as possible: IT SUCKS!! I use to pride myself on doing a 5k (3 miles)
in less than or around 30 minutes. 22-24 minutes if I was having a really good day. I have been back running but it has sucked….hard! Last weekend, I would have been able to call myself a marathoner. I would have ran the Kiawah Island Marathon and hopefully had did it in 4.5 hours or less. As we all know by now, my knee
had other plans. I feel like I am beating a dead horse talking about my knee but you know what? I’m pissed. I screwed myself up bad! It’s not easy to rip 3 out of 4 ligaments but hey, I did it. Not only that, I did it in a way that is unheard of. As my doctor likes to remind me (well I don’t know if he likes to but he always brings it up), an accident like this usually happens when something traumatic happens, such as falling out of a building or being in a car accident. Well guess who’s dumb ass did this traumatic thing while running? DING!! DING!! DING!!! ME! Yes, I am being hard on myself and yes accidents happen but like I said, I am pissed. I wanted to be a marathoner by now. Yes, I know that it can (and will) still happen but I wanted that to be one aspect completed in my life. Boo-WAH! Yes. I’m whining. Yes, I should be appreciative and say that it could always be worse, because you know what? It could always be worse.
So now, let me be positive. Thanks to my stubbornness and determination to get back to where I was, I don’t need surgery. Not once did I see a physical therapist. I was my own physical therapist. I did my own rehab. I walked, I yoga’d, I started to run once I got the OK from the doc. Last week the doctor said “Call as needed.” I pray I never have to see him again. Don’t get me wrong, he is a nice guy but if I have to see him again, that means one thing…..SURGERY!!! I am proud that I am determined to get back to where I was. It is something I have to work on physically and emotionally. Mostly emotionally. This past Saturday, I went back to the place where it happened ( I like to call it the “Crime Scene” because if you had seen my knee….*shudders*) and I was terrified. I kept thinking I was going to trip and and it would happen all over again. I remember being towards the end of the run and seeing where it happened (yes, I was literally 20 ft away from finishing my run when I effed up my knee) and being scared. Although the run was sucky, it was definitely better than last time. For starters, I left in my car and not an ambulance. That’s a positive, right?
So, not sure what the whole point of this post was. Guess I just needed to get some things off my chest. Now, I’m finished.