My plan was to write a post yesterday to get a jump start on the new year/new decade momentum but my day consisted of napping and knitting. No regrets. Plus, I am not really into the “new year new me” resolutions bullshit. And I’m not one to wait to start until a “new” whatever to get things going. That said, I am very thankful for a new decade. As I look back at the 2010-2019 era, I could probably count on one hand (maybe 1.5 hands) things that made me truly happy; two of them being the birth of my sons. Wait, hold on. My oldest was born in 2009 so only the birth of my second son falls into this past decade. Besides his birth, I also celebrate my divorce being finalized. This is something I will probably continue to celebrate. And I’m not talking about “let’s have a party with a groom knocked off the top of the cake and get drunk and talk shit” celebration. I celebrate everyday. It pops up in the way I love my sons. I have always loved my sons but now I *really* love them. Gone is the weight of carrying something heavy, of being sad or trying to make things works for the children. They understand why things didn’t work and they are much happier living a life seeing their mom happy. I’ve been told by friends I look happier. I never realized how much of myself I was holding back and trying to hide. I’m doing what makes me happy and I no longer care about the opinions of others. The biggest thing that has probably change is despite what I may be going through, I always have a moment, where I’m by myself and I smile. Not a smile when you’re passing a stranger or trying to save face. A true, genuine, heartfelt smile that always pops up, on it’s own, while I’m alone. A smile just for me.