Yesterday my youngest was missing his dad so I arranged for him to go there earlier. I cried last night before falling asleep because I was already going to miss him. I cried because I hate how he’s sad because he can’t see his dad all the time. I cried because if I had a better, happier marriage he wouldn’t be missing either parent or crying. Instead the time would be filled with a happier emotion. My oldest wasn’t ready to go yet. He said he wanted to spend some more time with me this weekend so yup, that made me cry as well.
But you know what? I needed to cry. It felt good. I tried to suppress how I’ve been feeling and something in me said, “Let go.”
I didn’t realize how much I was holding onto.